It's OK, Bay Area! Barry finally took his physical.

So the Giants finally signed Barry Bonds. I'd like to do a quick recap of the circus that was his contract for 2008:

1) During the season, the Giants give off the impression that they'll be going younger, better, and cheaper in 2008. They seem to be less and less under Bonds' spell; they even publicly disclose their unhappiness with his work ethic (napping during pinch-hitting opportunities) and personality (refusing to be part of the team).

2) Come offseason, the Giants sign Rich Aurilia (35), Bengie Molina (32) and Dave Roberts (34) and re-sign Ray Durham (35) and Pedro Feliz (31). So much for younger and cheaper, although to be fair, all the old players that they signed are very good, solid players. They haven't thrown any money away. Yet.

3) Barry Bonds, looking to create the impression that he's something besides a cranky old relic, shows up at the GM Winter Meetings in Florida and prances through the lobby pretending there are teams interested in him. The A's were one of the teams rumored to be interested. I think that Billy Beane thought (and I'm inclined to agree) that it would be funny to drive up his price more for the cross-Bay rivals.

4) The Giants agree to the basic terms of a deal with Bonds. Bonds gets 15.8 million dollars for one year and (hopefully) 22 home runs. The Giants get to squeeze a little more attendance out of their tiring, cranky cash cow. They're also allowed to politely request (and be rebuked) that Bonds leave his entourage behind. Bonds is too busy relaxing in L.A. to take his physical, so he's not officially on the team yet.

5) The Giants sign another Barry, this one younger and friendlier, to the tune of $126 million over 7 years: the biggest contract ever for a pitcher. Zito was touted as the biggest free-agent pitcher this off-season, and I just didn't see it. I feel like every A's game that I watched where he started, he got hit. Hard. But he's durable, never missed a start. And he'll give you 14 or 15 wins a year as well as a nice young person on a team of ornery old geezers.

The Giants have now thrown away money. It wouldn't be a San Francisco offseason if they didn't (read: Matt Morris, Jamey Wright).

6) Barrysaurus Rex gets his feelings hurt and sulks for awhile, then realizes that it's probably in his best interest to get his contract done with before more failed methamphetamine tests come out. Gets his physical, signs his papers, and is $15.8 million richer. The Giants' one victory in the negotiations process? If Barry gets indicted, they don't have to pay him for sitting in jail. Way to go Brian Sabean, guru of negotiation.

To conclude, I'd like to do a little math problem. $15.8 million divided by 22 (amount of home runs needed to surpass Hank Aaron) equals about $718,181 paid to Barry Bonds per home run he hopefully hits this season. Because honestly, that's all the Giants are paying him for. They're not paying him for his defense, they're not paying him for his veteran leadership, and they're certainly not paying him for his winning, team-first attitude.